Choosing Verbs Wisely
The following is the first sentence of a draft of an application letter to a PhD program.
I am considering a future career in neuropharmacology and doing a PhD will build on the valuable experience I am acquiring here at the (Name) University.
Although it’s not technically ungrammatical, it’s very wordy and has an odd tone. Here’s my revision
I am planning a career in neuropharmacology and want to enter your PhD program to build on the work I have done here at (Name) University.
“Considering” is what one does when wavering between the rice or noodles at a restaurant. “Planning” in the revised sentence makes the applicant sound more decisive about his or her career. “Doing a PhD” is too akin to “doing a crossword puzzle” or “doing my laundry”. “Want to enter your PhD program” is more direct. Finally the applicant mentions his “work” in neuroscience later in the letter, which is more substantive than the generic “valuable experience” would warrant. Don’t sell yourself short in your first sentence!
