English Essay
Here’s another introductory sentence, this one for the draft of a college sophomore’s English essay.
In the story “(Story Name)” the author reveals some of the messages conveyed in his narrative by emphasizing the use of allegory on the characters’ names.
Wow, trying to navigate through all those unnecessary words makes me dizzy. Here’s my revision
In the story “(Story Name)” the author emphasizes allegory in his choice of the characters’ names.
Don’t pad a sentence with a lot of words like “narrative”, “messages” and “conveyed” when you don’t need them. They won’t impress a professor, and they make your work a lot harder to follow.
