Thesis for an Essay
For an essay on Macbeth a student wrote the following draft of a thesis statement:
Macbeth’s tragic outcome is directly related to his perplex physcological state caused by the fear of fatalism and self determination.
I took out the errors, the passive voice, the excess adjectives (replacing them with more precise verb-and-noun combinations) and tried to make the thesis direct and easy to understand. I also asked for some clarification, because I don’t know what “fear of fatalism” means. If she meant that he is afraid that no matter what he does he cannot change his fate, I would change the thesis to:
Macbeth’s tragedy has its roots in his own psyche: the fear that self-determination cannot change destiny.
Don’t be afraid to write a thesis statement (and the essay that follows it) in plain English. The ability to do so impresses professors more than you think.
